Kittens!

Clearly I’m ridiculously anxious about everything and it’s coming out in my dreams.

The other night, I had a dream that Tidbit died and woke up sobbing in the middle of the night. I forget what my next dream was about, but it was in the same vein.

This morning (after talking to Alison for a long time on the phone/Skype last night) I dreamed that I gave birth to a little boy with a head full of bright brown kinky curls who we named Oscar but were thinking of renaming Milo. And I was at my mom’s house at first, giving him a bath while Christina ran to CVS because we forgot to get cloth diapers and we needed the plastic ones, all while the water kept going over Oscar’s head, but he kept both sitting up straight and holding his breath and then we’d drain the tub a bit when we noticed. My mom disapproved of the baby, it seemed, and was very distant. My milk was taking forever to come in and then just started spraying out, which was pretty hilarious, and I was breast feeding during the rest of the dream. And then I walked home to a huge house we all lived in and was trying to find place in the fridge for the placenta and was wondering if I should fry it up or put it in a smoothie and then there were annoying German roommates who were clearly talking about my boobs in German to each other. I tried to plug in the toaster for this elderly woman that also lived there, but I kept unplugging the clock and having to reset it. And Alison and Jimmy were asleep in their room, which was right next to the kitchen, but I didn’t want to wake them up even though I really wanted to cuddle and/or have sex because they had stayed awake at the hospital through everything, whereas I had napped a lot during/after the birth, and I wanted them to rest so I ate guacamole (which I worried was too spicy for the baby but I was too hungry to care) and chips while Oscar fell asleep while latched on and I started to write a zine about everything that was going on.

Normally when I dream about such things, I’m pregnant, I don’t actually progress to the birth/parenting so that’s a new development in my dream psyche. Which I’m interpreting as having everything to do with moving to Portland and relationships.